| stupid survey i filled out while bored. |
[Feb. 4th, 2008|09:21 am] |
Ten Part Survey
PART I: YOU!
What is your name?: Danielle
How old are you?: 121
Where were you born?: Lincoln
Where do you live?: Around Lincoln
What color hair do you have?: Naturally: blondish brunette. Unnaturally: black with burgundy, then my natural colored roots.
What color eyes do you have?: Dark brown.
Do you wear glasses?: Yes.
Do you wear contacts?: More than I wear glasses
Are you a girl or a guy?: Female.
How tall are you?: 5'7
How much do you weigh?: I am not at liberty to say.
Do you dress for comfort or for style?: Depends on the night.
Where do you shop the most?: Target. Up and coming: local thrift stores.
Do you have a job?: Two, actually.
Do you like how you look?: Not right this minute.
Do you like your smile?: I think I should have worn my retainer more. Now I have to get upper braces again to appriciate my teeth. Oh, and go to the dentist.
What about your hair?: I liked it better before it grew out four inches.
What size shoe do you wear?: 8 1/2 - 9 in heels, 9 - 9 1/2 regular type
What size pants?: Good lord, I haven't a clue. Vanity sizing and the reaction to it, with no standard sizing system, it's impossible to tell.
How about shirt?: The only size I can't wear is a small and below. What the hell kinds of question are these anyway?
Do you have a MySpace?: Yes.
How about a Facebook?: Yes.
How long have you had them for?: Myspace since highschool, Facebook since last winter.
What's your zodiac sign?: Virgo.
Do you even believe in horoscopes?: Actually, I do.
Do you like to dress up?: I do.
Can you sing?: Everyone can sing. It's how well that matters. So yes, I can sing.
Can you dance?: Eh, like a white girl. (Which means sort of, but not well).
Do you have any talents?: I'm sure I do.
PART II: FAVORITES
What is your favorite color?: I like black, with compliments: red, green, and yellow are favorites.
What is your favorite school subject?: English, Art and History.
What is your favorite hobby?: Music. Trying to get back into art and writing. Learning new things, too.
What is your favorite food?: That would be a tough choice. Seafood, and oriental food.
What is your favorite sport?: Ones I can do: weight lifting, biking, running. Ones I can't do: skateboarding, surfing, mountain climbing, gymnastics, rugby...
Who is your favorite person?: I don't think I have a favorite person.
What's your favorite website?: Wikipedia and it's dirivitives.
What's your favorite form of transportation?: First and foremost, biking. Then walking. Then driving. I think trains and airplanes are last. If there was a light rail or a subway here, I would love that.
Favorite vacation?: Des Moines, Iowa. Kansas City, Missouri. Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
Favorite pasttime?: Reading, trying to sleep, learning.
Favorite fruit?: I don't eat much fruit anymore, but: kiwis, clementines, mandarin oranges, Asian pears, some species of apple.
Favorite vegetable?: ZUCHINNI! Followed by tomatoes, beans and lentils, peas, fresh corn, carrots, lettuce, cucumbers, and a many herbs. I adore vegetables.
Favorite TV Show?: ...
Favorite movie?: ... Cloverfield was the last movie I saw and I loved it.
PART III: YOUR FRIENDS
Who are your best friends?: It's hard to trust where the line is between best friend, lifemates, and the best people I know and love.
Do you have any friends you don't trust?: Actually, I do.
Do you like any of your friends as more than a friend?: I can think of one. Or more. But not enough to ruin the best relationships I have.
Which friend is funniest?: Val.
Which friend is most outgoing?: Jessica. Although sometimes it seems like I might be more outgoing. But I doubt it.
Which friend do you always have a good time with?: Almost all of them.
Which friend's house do you sleep over the most?: Matt's.
Which friend is the most like you?: Probably Matt, again.
Which friend would you trust with your life?: Ooo, tough question. I think I could trust my life to a lot of my friends.
Do you think you could survive without your friends?: Not without friends. These guys... I don't know. Just kidding. I know I could make it if I moved and had to start over. But I don't think I could survive Lincoln without them.
PART IV: SCHOOL
What's the hardest class you have?: Accounting, by far.
What language are you taking?: None anymore, but I ambitiously said once I wanted to learn Spanish, French, German, Russian, Italian, and Mandarin Chinese. Japanese would be cool too.
What's your easiest subject?: English.
Do you have good grades?: For the moment. Accounting just keeps getting harder.
Would you cry if you got an F on a test?: I'm pretty sure I have. Just not really loudly.
Have you ever failed a course?: I would have had I not driopped it.
Have you ever had a detention?: I did once. I think. Yeah. It was for skipping school.
Suspension?: Excuse me? No.
Expulsion?: I wish I could have been 'expulsed' from my middle school. That place was hell.
Do you abide by the rules, or disobey them?: Depends on the rules.
PART V: GUILTY PLEASURES
Do you watch Hannah Montana?: Fuck no. One: tv actually does make you stupid. Two: Hannah Montana could cause permanent brain damage. And three: she doesn't deserve a tv show or a music career. Jesus.
Still listen to any old boy bands or pop stars?: Pop stars from the sixties, maybe.
Eat anything people consider weird?: Yeah. Totally.
Still visit sites like Neopets?: Hell no. Besides, a scientologist runs that site.
Do you still watch little kid cartoons?: Yes.
Are you embarassed or ashamed of anything you do?: Yeah, actually.
What would you do if people found out about your guilty pleasures?: Honestly, I couldn't give a shit less what people think about my guilty pleasures.
PART VI: THE WILD YOU
Do you party?: Yes. But I try not to these days.
Do you drink?: Yes, but again, I try not to these days.
Do you smoke?: Yes. But I'm trying to quit that too.
Do you do drugs?: No.
Have you ever had sex with someone you weren't dating?: Yes.
Were you drunk?: More than likely.
Do you get around?: I try not to these days. Though sometimes I think it's okay.
Have you ever been in a fist fight?: Yes. On more than one occassion.
Have you ever told someone off?: More than I probably should.
Have you ever flashed/mooned someone?: I flashed the crowd at a concert once, but I don't want to talk about it.
Would you ever pose for something like playboy/playgirl?: Not looking like this.
Ever kissed more than one person in one night?: Yes.
Have you ever been skinny dipping?: If I recall correctly, yes.
Have you ever gone streaking?: Fuck no.
Have you ever been naked in a hot tub?: No.
PART VII: LOVE
Have you ever been in love?: Yes. It was a huge mistakes then, too.
Are you in a relationship?: No.
What's your longest relationship?: One year, and one day.
How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?: I think I'm rounding up on seven or eight.
Are you a virgin?: No.
Who was your first kiss?: This guy I hate named Doug.
Have you ever been with someone who was a bad kisser?: Um, yeah. Turns out, most people don't know shit about kissing.
Do you like anyone right now?: Yes, I do.
Do you still have some kind of memoribelia from a past ex?: Pictures.
Do you have a photo of you and an ex?: Yes.
Have you ever cheated?: Not really. Oh wait, I think that it qualifies.
Would you ever take someone back if they cheated?: I don't know. It really depends on the situation...
Have you been around all the bases?: How many bases are there again? I think that this was already a question in different words.
Is being loved the best feeling in the world?: No.
Is it true that all you need is love?: There is no truth in that.
PART VIII: MUSIC
What's your favorite band?: I can't have just one favorite, but I can say that I have been listing to The Clash a lot lately.
Who's your favorite artist?: You have me there. I don't have one.
What kind of music do you listen to?: A lot of old pop, punk rock, classic rock, indie music, and just about everything else in smaller amounts.
Is music your life?: I wish I could devote more time to it.
Do you have an iPod/Mp3 player?: Had an iPod.
How many songs?: Something like three thousand would fit on it.
If you could meet any artist/band, who would it be? Oh geez, I don't know. There are so many I want to meet.
How many CD's do you own, on estimation?: I think I'm nearing up on 70, and I'm starting to collect vinyl.
Did you ever own cassettes with music on them?: Fuck yes.
Do you like classical music?: Yes.
Do you play an instrument?: I used to, and I sort of play a different one now.
Have you ever written a song?: Yes.
Do you only like car rides for the music?: No.
Would you survive without music?: I *could* but I don't know if I want to.
Have you ever been in a band or chorus class?: Yes.
PART IX: BELIEFS
Do you believe in God?: it depends on what you mean by 'God'
Do you agree with gay marriages?: Yes.
Are you for or against abortions?: Pro-choice.
Premarital sex?: Most people do it these days. I'm not against it as long as everyone is being safe.
Do you believe in peace or war?: A balance between the two, though I would prefer peace.
Do you shove beliefs down others' throats?: I try hard not to.
Are you highly opinionated?: I know I can be.
Do you believe in ghosts?: The supernatural freaks me out.
Angels?: This kind of goes back to the god topic, but it does seem that there is something out there watching over me. I should probably be dead.
Aliens?: I hope they don't exist.
PART X: FAMILY
How many siblings do you have?: One.
Are your parents together/divorced/separated?: Together. For now.
Who do you live with?: I hope to discontinue doing so in the next month.
How many of your great-grandparents are still living?: None.
How many aunts/uncles do you have (Only your mom/dad's real siblings.) ?: Three.
Are you the first born?: Yes, unfortunately.
Do you have a step-family?: No.
Do you love your family?: I do, but they make it hard sometimes.
Do you feel like you're part of someone else's family too?: Yes.
Where does most of your family live?: Nebraska and North Carolina. With Denver, Michigan, and Nevada taking a few.
What are your siblings names?: Nicholas.
If you don't have any siblings, do you want any?: -VOID-
Do you want to get married someday?: I sort of do, but I don't really see it happening.
Do you want to have kids someday?: I do, actually. I want to have some of my own, and adopt some too. That's pretty ambitious for someone who is techinically afraid of children. |
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| post. |
[Feb. 3rd, 2008|09:17 pm] |
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while everyone else is watching the superbowl, i am reading about rocket stoves, doing my accounting homework, and trying to figure out where i am going to be in the next six months. crashing economy? no thank you. but even so, i will still have to deal with it. |
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| sometimes we stand on hilltops just to see what we can see. |
[Jul. 17th, 2007|03:19 pm] |
this morning i woke with a medicated taste to my mouth, blurry thoughts over blurry dreams, and to wonder why i was propped up on three pillows. i rolled and hit my swollen jaw on the pillow. oh yes. how could i forget.
melodic songs on repeat, the sounds of my living family downstairs: i listen to them watching television, eating lunch, getting home, leaving for work, washing the dishes, paying the bills... usually i pay these things no mind. ignore them. i feel like the ghost of a stranger here. i break down the instrumental openings of songs in my head. first the piano. then the back-up singers, they moan. then the lead, crooning in a way that distracts my listening.
but being led by hand through music isn't my thing today. being pulled along in any way would be nice most of the time, but when i really need that hand to guide me, everyone is looking the other way. but that could just be me, or the fact that I spend a lot of time looking the other way too.
this surprising thing happens when i have too much time to myself, and i am not questioning my sanity (this happens rarely), or drinking excessively. i normally spend a lot of time saying i am trying to get my shit together. like life is just some magical thing that culminates into exactly what you want. but no. i already know it is not like that. sometimes, yes, i confuse myself. i still am not sure how that happens, it just does. but this is beside the point. as i am sitting in a prison of my own making with a little dash of vanity, i have been thinking too much again.
i ran the numbers, i went through the motions. i sat here reading for two days, went to one socially acceptable dinner with my little pseudo-sister, and watched a couple of movies. then i looked around and started packing again. started piling up possessions again. started looking for things to get rid of that i don't want to carry with me this time. i made a few phone calls. i filled out a few more applications. i wrote a few more schemes down, asked for a couple more days off. looked through things that I have not touched in years that are within feet of me again. started taking down shelves of books. putting them into piles. what i've read. what i haven't. i start making lists again. lists that i plan on completing. i know the grass always looks greener on the other side, but it really isn't. my expectations are higher than i suspected they were. i am getting the feeling though, that i am not as wise as i once thought.
i feel very old at twenty. i feel jaded for an age that, even when i see it, looks young. everyday i look at the time and think it is never enough. i look at the years ahead of me, and feel like i am behind on some master schedule. though i never know what i am suppose to be coming up. sometimes i feel like all the brain power i have committed to learning things has been wasted. convincing myself of the way things work, wondering why the answers i once had made sense... the fading memories,... i like to chalk that all up to some things i did when i was younger and stupider than i am now. despite the age and the time and the events of my life, i feel more apathetic than anything. on my shift at work, they are cutting hours. permanently. i know i won't be saved by my knowledge or experience. i pick up a phone book and place another call to another HR department. leaning heavily on my ability to hope.
this is not how i imagined life in my twenties. technically, i am hovering over the very verge of my twenties, about to fall over the boarder in a few months. this just isn't what i imagined at sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, even last year. though, nineteen and twenty feel near obviously the same, though when i say 'No, I'm twenty.' they still look surprised, just not as surprised as when i would say i was still in my teens. sometimes val and i talk about it. we discuss our shared jaded lives and the loss of our childhoods. we don't really mourn them, because we don't really know/remember what they were suppose to be like. it doesn't bother us. but sometimes i look at rachel while she's talking and realize i have no idea what it is she is talking about firsthand. that though i was fifteen once, i cannot seem to directly associate with what that was like. i still know the answers though. sometimes that generates a smile. sometimes.
there is this ugly white room with neon green paint sponged over it waiting for me in north lincoln. the floor has white carpet, the only carpeted room in the house. it smells like pot and lizards and a tropical fish tank. it gets hotter than the rest of the house, or colder, depending on the weather. the room is said to be haunted. or so i've been told. the two windows look directly out onto the street, and the doors lead out into a practice room, with guitars and basses strewn about and one beat-to-hell drum set. the ceiling slants down at an angle that reminds me of my rooms on stockwell. it's not so unlike my last house. i am told when i am ready i can move in. i am told that the couches and pets and television will be moved. i am told i will be a welcome addition when i feel like moving in.
i'm glad there's a place for me somewhere. it's nice to have something waiting. i realize that there will be things there that will annoy me as things did at stockwell. but i won't be alone in it. it's been too long since val has been at my side. too long since that piece of myself was removed. just far too long. before i can go, i have projects to complete. just a few, mostly DIY things that i need to do. things involving power tools and table saws, and possibly my father's interest. little things i have or have to lay out in sketch books. other things to lay out on graph paper. numbers, numbers, everywhere. i have a couple of purchases to make, and some interior organization to prepare. simple boring things you don't need to know about.
i promised the first of me to move is one gift, and a lot of books.
then later, more. i have more to learn before i leave here, though.
that's just how life is.
sometimes we stand on hilltops just to see what we can see. |
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| flashback: 04 style. unraveling my night. |
[Apr. 26th, 2007|09:52 am] |
I have been awake since yesterday morning at ten a.m. and here I am, at 12:07 a.m. calm as God. I had my moments of extremes, and I had my confusion.
Now I'm as calm as God, and my entire life is unraveling.
Thank you,
factors of the situation,
Thank you,
moments of reconciliation,
Thank you,
move of concentration,
Thank you,
bonafide creation.
Thank god for me.
Because I'm the ghost of a stranger. |
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| huh. |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|10:43 pm] |
The Everything Test There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all. Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-) | Personality | You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more atheist than religious, more dependent than loner, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted.
As for specific personality traits, you are adventurious (100%), intellectual (87%), adventurous (80%), romantic (71%). | | | Stereotypes | | Punk Rock | 87% | | Prep | 85% | | Old Geezer | 83% | | | | Life Experience | | Sex | 21% | | Substances | 73% | | Travel | 18% | | Politics
Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 94% of the time. | | Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Middle Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 84% less than the U.S. average.
| If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 48%, hotter than 69% of other test takers. | TAKE THE TEST brought to you by thatsurveysite
alot of this... is correct. but i find some of the questions to not be good enough to rate me on them. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|08:00 pm] |
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so much needs to change. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|06:36 pm] |
I was reminded about an hour ago of just how poor I am, and how badly I need to get my act together. I am once again paralysed by indecision and... fear, I think?
What the fuck am I suppose to do?
I've come up with some odd-job sort of tasks for people to pay me under the table before, now I just have to post them somewhere prominent and hope that I don't get raped and killed (or either seperately) if people I do not know personally start replying.
This Saturday, we're having the party we were suppose to have yesterday. I'm painting up as a Kabuki, and hopefully finding a kimono or a cheongsam-style outfit.
In other news, I have officially failed my first college course. One that should have been easy. I am attempting to spread my efforts to my other classes and get amazing grades in them, but I still don't know how i am going to tell my parents that I have managed to screw up this badly. Right this minute, I am suppose to be rehearsing a story to tell in American Sign Language tomorrow. For some reason I decided to make it incredibly difficult on myself and tell a Japanese legend. Which means I will have to look up 75% of the signs that I'm going to be using, learn them for tomorrow, and then remember them in the morning when I recount my story. Shit.
My stomach is tying in knots already over everything. Haha. Oh god. |
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| Party Saturday, the 10th. Asian Food, Drunk, and Dance. |
[Feb. 9th, 2007|11:29 am] |
This Saturday, at The House (the house I live in...) we're having a night full of food, drunk, and dance. Asian food, in the name of miso, sushi, gyoza, and etcetera. Come early for food (if you would like, chip in a buck or some change), and there will be much eating and drinking. BYOB if you please. We will responsibly get some beer. Am- DJ Doug Shinner will be supplying some tunes to dance and smoke cigarettes to.
Give me a call, or message me if you need directions. Likewise, message or call Andy Cox, Aja Martin, Doug Shinner, Nick Salestrom, Aaron Brindell, if you don't have my number.
Saturday. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2007|02:34 pm] |
WHO WANTS TO GO TO IKEA WITH ME?!?!?!
Apparently, there is one in Frisco, Texas
which is apparently the closest one. IKEA owes me a lot, but even if i do have to drive eight hours to get there, i would still do it, just to buy their cheap ass furniture.
Whatever. Maybe someday I will rally the troops and we'll all go to IKEA to buy furniture. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2007|01:59 pm] |
I think I need to be tested for adult ADD and ADHD.
Who the HELL do I go to that for?
I have never in my life had a mental health practicioner, and being on the verge of having my own insurance, I think it would be a good idea to get a couple of moch-ups on all this stuff.
Geez, advice is needed.
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| didn't you see... |
[Jan. 28th, 2007|12:45 pm] |
in a dead presidents shirt and black sweats, sans underwear, i slide on shoes and a jacket and shuffle off to the basement to smoke a cigarette on my sore throat.
sitting in the dark of my basement at eleven in the morning, the only light coming through the farthest window, and strands of christmas lights hung from the ceiling, i let my mind drift. watching television all morning while i skimmed over lines of a book that i am suppose to be reading for an online class, my stomach cramping up and my head pounding.
with my feet propped up on the coffee table, and fifty plus empty old style cans in lines around the room, well, it occured to me that these next two months are going to be intense. that i have a lot to plan for and a lot of desicions to make. but none that i can specifically make now.
this leaves a huge dead area for me to flounder in, while i sit in my basement smoking cigarettes, and forgetting to do my homework. i have a master list to make, housing to look for, jobs to look for, money to find, and a variety of things to consider.
floundering, as i am... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2007|06:20 pm] |
yesterday:
[my stomach has a nervous wire of adrenaline shoved through tonight. today, though sleep was imminent, was one of those days that was made for epiphany. i am on the verge of making coffee in my kitchen and putting on my clothes for work, but in this mean time, i am looking over volumes of homework and thinking about three months from now. and now. and where i am going.
the questions i am asking myself, they are the strangest things. where am i going? does this have anything to do with where i've been? what am i going to do? i want to move out of this house. i want to quit school. i want to have house shows in my basement and stay out late. i want to fucking enjoy my life.]
a lot of things have occurred to me over the last seventy-six hours. not that things don't often occur to me, and not that i will act on any of these things that have occurred to me. i have been having extensive conversations with people. d. shinner. a. martin. g. dank. c. wieck. for christ sake, i actually had a conversation with my mother.
to what end, to what end? i do not feel sated. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2007|04:36 am] |
this is one of those rare,
(and when i say rare, i mean rare in the only respect i can use it in this context),
rare moments when i really would like to kill myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2007|08:14 pm] |
i think i fucked up. there was something that i must have done that was wrong, and that is all i can come up with at this point. things keep changing, but they just stay the same. the more things change, the more things stay the same...
it's time to go. i am getting over this bullshit. it is the right time... it has to be. this week... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2007|04:40 pm] |
i have been ripping at the edges of fingernails all day, making them sharp and serrated. as i am watching the brand new cable connection in HD on this amazing fifty inch flat screen HD television in my living room, the edges of my fingers bleeding, because i cannot stop stop sliding the serrated edges of fingernails across the skin on the sides of my fingers, i am thinking. well. not really.
biting at lips and wondering.
well.
not really.
the thoughts, at this point, are going nowhere. nothing has been of major concern. guilt about not going to my lesson. anxiety over classes. cold hands. boring hair. no money. staring at billie joe armstrong. looking at the discussions i am suppose to be doing for class that i have not completed.
what's a girl to do? |
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| anxiety. |
[Jan. 9th, 2007|02:27 pm] |
you would think after two hours worth of cleaning and dishes, that one would have a sense of accomplishment. a feeling of clean.
you would think that after managing to sign up for classes on the last day, that one would feel a little better about not losing one's insurance, and still being a college student.
you would think that one holding two jobs, on completely different shifts, at the same time, would be a little more secure in their finances, or would feel a little better about working.
i do not. i feel like shit about this. i feel like shit about school. i feel like shit about my jobs. for once, i do not know shit in school. for once, i am actually afraid that i am not going to understand this shit, and i will not be able to test well in it, that i will not be able to show up to class and actually be able to do what i have to to get a good grade.
for once, i feel useless at work. it does not seem like i even need to be there. nor do i really want to be there. i am constantly worried that i am doing things wrong, and that i am going to be fired for something trivial, like calling in sick. or not getting freight done fast enough. i want to get a new job. more, i need to get a new job. i am tired of getting up at three a.m. to go to work, and i am tired of the people i work for. i am just so tired. i do not make enough money, and i do not have time for anything.
i am tired about this. and i know that i do not work tonight, but i am doubting myself. i am seriously doubting what i knew, and what i was told. whatever. in an hour and a half, if i am suppose to be at work, i will be called. and then, then? if i was scheduled and i did not show up, then i will probably lose my job.
then i'll have to get a new one. i am going to start looking for one in the morning.
for now, it is sleep. then i will have to organize this. this as in everything. |
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| birth. |
[Jan. 5th, 2007|02:20 pm] |
9-21-86 6:08 p.m.
12-24-88 8:53 p.m. |
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| the one thing i despise about movies... |
[Jan. 5th, 2007|12:30 pm] |
the one thing i absolutely despise about movies is they make everything in life seem like it suppose to be so very epic. this is not true. growing up on television and movies; this has ruined my ability to understand the way that life works. the masterpieces that movies, books and television are, with plots, and beginnings, middles, climaxes... and ends.
a song that wrenches the heart
o where do i find a knowing ear?
i am mesmerized.
according to all this movie magic, plots and stories... what have you... life is suppose to have a point. there is suppose to be purpose in everything. there is a time to win and a time to lose, and those are elegantly dictated by... something? the way life really works: you work for money, you fall in to the standards, you fuck up, you buck up, sometimes you do the right things, other times you don't, and eventually, you die.
my resolutions for this year, i have made none. i have considered what it is that must happen this year. i know what i need to do, but i am having a lot of trouble making the correct decisions. or making any decisions.
this must change. yes, life isn't a story.
maybe i can make one anyway. |
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| lack of weather proof boots and nebraska. |
[Jan. 1st, 2007|01:57 am] |
as i was making a sincere effort to carry all two hundred pounds of goods inside from the jeep in the back lot to the second living room, it occured to me, while eight inches of snow coming up to almost my knees was being crushed under foot, that it is possible for me to love and enjoy winter. i looked up into the black sky, complete with a full, clear moon. it was perfect. i was warm, there was no wind, and i was crunching through snow, arguing on the phone (though i did not want to). i came to the conclusion that i could live almost anywhere and be content if the weather remained in a fairily constant state of being year round. i would always be prepared, properly attired and used to the weather conditions, and so would the people surrounding me. we would not be having the problems i see daily with the weather changes here.
noteably, i went out looking for snow boots, as i have none, and have not had any for years, and after trudging eight blocks in normal clothes and tennis shoes while carrying this laptop, cereal, books and a videogame from the parking lot that i could no longer drive my mustang from, no less in wet, heavy snow fall with four inches of snow underfoot at 9 a.m., i think i need the damn boots. that is beside the point, as i could find none that weren't MPG (meaning no longer being sold; going through their last amount of stock at TARGET before winter has even set in) or even in my size, or even worse, that weren't horrifically ugly and non-weather resistant. i am going to have to order myself some of the damn things.
which leaves me excited for upcoming shopping trips thrifting and going to military surplus stores, decking out a sewing machine and wildly serving up some style. i am waiting for the opportunity to prepare my faux-professional attire.
life in the future seems too distant and beautiful.
this could never happen.
(something to think about...) |
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